Beginning...

Control.

It's what we all strive for.
We want to dominate over everything;

Our paycheck,
Our children,
Our arrival and departure times into and out of this world.
Our schedules,
Our physical state, whether it be our weight or our wellness, anything.

We frown at helplessness, neediness, and having to rely upon anything other than ourselves.

Well I'm here to tell you: Lose control. Give it up! Not by throwing it away in despair or frustration, but by handing it to a mighty and caring God.

Over the past two years God has been teaching me this, and slowly but surely, I'm learning to give up control.

After rededicating my life to God two years ago, I prayed tearfully that He would use me... I didn't know what I was doing! :)

Although I don't regret it one bit, I didn't realize what I had asked Him. He listened anyway, and I'm now taking care of my grandparents full time. Making and cleaning up after meals; housekeeping; school; and caring for their cows, dog and cats are among my daily duties as well as medical things. Taking blood sugar and pressure; administering insulin; dressing and undressing my grandmother... the list is pretty long!

But the journey has been wonderful, even if it is extremely trying at times.

When I first moved in to help, it was awkward and overwhelming, even painful. So much so that I almost got to the point of giving up. Why? Because I was trying to control my atmosphere, circumstances, and attitude. They can and should be controlled to a point. but I wanted complete control.

Guess what? I couldn't have it. Only the one and only omnipotent (all- powerful) God could.

Exodus 14:14 says "The LORD will fight for you, you need only to be still." (NIV)

That's what I'm trying to do. Relinquishing all power and control that I've been trying to grasp to God.

So if you'd like, please join me on this journey as I learn the art of losing control.

~Annie